Current Obsessions

1. Looking at yoga videos, thinking about buying them, then putting them back on the shelf

2. Books- Lord of the Rings
- Harry Potter
~ Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting something else??

3. Sheepish. I can't get enough of that store!

4. Cardigans

5. awesome winter hats

6. falling in love with my book light again

7. Godiva chocolate!

Another New Year?!?!

Hello, my horribly ignored blog. I've missed you. I wish I could be more diligent with my postings, but so far that hasn't worked out. I haven't felt very 'inspired' lately, plus the holidays in retail are insane. The new year is always a weird time for me; I tend to get very frusterated. I feel like I have zero passion and no motivation. Also, the list of things to improve on may be a little too long lol. I don't think bored is the right word, but I do feel a bit stuck. I'm comfortable in my 'work' life, I'm already married but not ready to have kids.....I guess I feel like I'm in between life steps. What is there to work towards.....? Ok, that is my deep thought for this post.
On a lighter note-
The holidays passed in a blur! We got great news right before Christmas-Phil's orders got cancelled! So as of right now he's staying put. The Anderson/Bednar clan is very happy. He also had a great first semester back, and is ready to go for spring semester. How he stays sane with school, work, and the reserves is a mystery. Oh wait-I know- he has me. :)
I finished out another year at Bath and Body Works. What can I say? It's a good company, I can pretty much control my hours, and I'm lucky to have a steady job right now with the way the economy is. Will I be there forever? Who knows. But for right now, it works.
Phil has put his foot down and is insisting on taking me camping this June. Since I have never really even slept outside- I'm a bit nervous. We will see!

Thinking of the little things....

I hope this night finds you as snuggled up as me! It feels like the first real fall night to me; so out comes the flannel down comforter and in goes a Lord of the Rings movie. Some hot chocolate completes my perfect Saturday night. Some might think it's sad, but I'm content.
Just appreciating the little things tonight. When life throws you a curveball, the world seems to slow around you, allowing you to soak up some precious moments, throw away all those big worries, and lets you focus on what matters in your heart, your soul. It reminds you once again how skewed your view of the world has become, how often you focus on the big picture, the big worries, and miss what's happening in this moment, in the now. How easily potentially great moments will slip by us by not being in the present.
Working with the general public does great things for me. It lets me see the good and bad in people. And I get to be so, so thankful for the loved ones I have in my life. I get to see, at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter that we don't have a ton of money, a huge house, lots of nice cars, or anything else on the endless list of material things. We have love, and that wins every time.

My thoughts for the week.....

1. I have a very real fear that, when I'm around my sister and mom at the same time, I will pee my pants from laughter.

2. There is not much better than going to bed knowing the house is clean, slipping into clean sheets, with clean pjs, and watching some Harry Potter. For me, anyways. :)

3. We are not ready for this move. And I'm ok with that. Really, I am!

4. I have officially broken my addiction to diet soda! I have, however, upped my dose of coffee. Does the achievement still count?

5. I'm so ready for fall. I hate summer. Truly, I do.

6. I'm in a mild panic that season 4 of Heroes is not available on Netflix on demand. Sad, really.

7. I have spent about 3 hours of my night cleaning for these anonymous people that are coming to view our apartment tomorrow. I settled on the couch, ready to reward myself with a reread of one of my favorite books, and what do I see? A small army of ants, carrying off a peanut that Phil must have dropped from his trailmix tub. Typical.

8. I truly am a sucker for music. I have wasted countless hours of my life looking up songs, listening to cds, looking up lyrics, wondering how they pertain to my life, etc.

9. I am dreading September 7th. And just to let you know, general public, you should be too.

10. I am completely out of food and shampoo. This does not concern me nearly as much as the above mentioned Heroes situation.

Happy week everyone!!

Absurdity

So after a brief stumble, I feel like my life is back on track. Comfortable once again in where I am, and looking forward to the place I know I'm going. Small assurances, but they're there just the same.

And life continues to move: poor Weasel got her wisdom teeth pulled (ouch!), and she goes back to college the end of the month. Mom's out of her boot (yes!). Dad's residing the house. (Wish him luck there). My friend Kirsten had her baby, Katija (I will be calling her Kat). Beautiful beautiful girl. And we will be moving into our new flat the end of this month (I secretly think Phil is a nomad).

With all this going on, my mind is in a constant race, always one step ahead of what I'm trying to do. I'm so worried of what may come, I often miss the great stuff that's happening right in front of my face! What a sad way to live. It's a behavior that I know needs to stop.

Tomorrow is Friday! (My favorite day). I'm looking forward to the Farmer's Market and Barnes and Noble and some mom time. And then Phil and my new show, Everest. Gotta love reality TV. And no worrying about what's to come. Just enjoying the day.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
-Emerson

It's a long trip alone....

It's been so long since I've posted, my poor computer didn't recognize the website. So sad. Summers are usually rough for me, and sadly this one is proving to be no different. It's as if the powers that be bring me straight thunderstorms from June until September. There's always a lesson, though. And for that, I am thankful.

Phil was gone this past month, in California. It's always sad to be apart from eachother, but I got some alone time with the family, which I always treasure. It's a strange thing, but I missed Phil more than I ever have this month. More even than the deployment. Maybe we're just older, maybe our love is deeper. Scary and wonderful, all rolled into one.

Phil and I celebrated our 4th anniversary this month. This summer also marks a year being back in Wisconsin. I'm still so glad we moved back. It's nice to know Phil and I could make it somewhere else, but home is here. It's nice to see old friends, to laugh about life over a cup of coffee. It's great to see my sister dancing through life, her eyes full of excitement. I get to see my parents change 'the big house' now that it's two instead of four. (I do, however, think they'll regret selling that glorious swingset once their first grandkid comes along). Memories and milestones.

I can't put into words what I would do without my family and friends. It's pretty hard to imagine with all the love around me, there are still people quite alone.

A little Dierks Bentley:

It's a long trip alone
over sand and stone
That lie along the road that we all must travel down

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold
'Cause it's a long trip alone

It's a short piece of time but just enough to find
A little peace of mind under the sun somewhere

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
'Cause it's a short piece of time

And I don't know where I'd be without you here
'Cause I'm not really me without you there

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold
So maybe you could walk with me a while

Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Maybe I could feel you right beside me til' I'm home
'Cause it's a long trip alone
A long trip alone

The past....

Always comes back to haunt us?
Or does it only come back to resolve past issues?
Or can the past come back and stay comfortably?
I've been dealing with the past a lot lately. Mostly people.
Can we let people back in?
Maybe not the way it was before,
maybe cautiously.
I think the biggest fear is things ending up the way they we before.
There are parts of them that we loved once,
so does all that go away?
When we aren't so clouded by anger and resentment; where does that love go?
We'll see where this road takes me.
And I hopefully won't live to regret it.